Can anybody find me somebody to love? Each morning I get up I die a little. Can't barely stand on my feet. (Take a look at yourself!) Take a look in the mirror and cry, "Lord, what you're doing to me?!" I have spent all my years in believing You. But, I just can't get … Continue reading [Found] me somebody to love
I'm starting to feel We stayed together out of fear Of dying alone. I've been slipping through the years. My old clothes don't fit like they once did. So they hang like ghosts of the people I've been. It's like my Heart can't be tamed. I fall in love every day, And I feel like a … Continue reading We stayed together out of fear
This place is a prison, And these people aren't your friends. Inhaling thrills through $20 bills, And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again And again. There's guards at the on ramps armed to the teeth, And you may case the grounds from the Cascades to Puget Sound, But you are not permitted to … Continue reading How long must I wait?
With every sun that sets I am feeling more Like a stranger on a foreign shore With an eroding beach disappearing from underneath. And when my mirror speaks it never minces words, Because these eyes don't shine half as bright As they used to do, and they haven't for quite a while. Because I'm a … Continue reading I always fall in love with an open door
I've been thinking 'bout the times You walked out on me. There were moments I'd believe you were there. Do I miss you, or am I lying to myself again? I do these things. (It's all because of you.) I keep holding on, but I'll try. ([I'll] try not to think of you.) Love, don't … Continue reading Do I miss you, or am I lying to myself again?
I will be posting more about my most recent situation as soon as I am able. I am currently in the neurosciences department of my local hospital. I was involuntarily committed at the behest of my mother and my family because of their concern for me. My doctors and nurses have all agreed with me, … Continue reading Brief Update
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=UrgpZ0fUixs Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. (About Donald Trump) About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts. Maybe below thecockles. Maybe in the sub cockle area. … Continue reading He’s the world’s biggest Asshole
ANITA Puerto Rico, My heart's devotion, Let it sink back in the ocean. Always the hurricanes blowing, Always the population growing, And the money owing, And the sunlight streaming, And the natives steaming. I like the island Manhattan. Smoke on your pipe And put that in! GIRLS I like to be in America. Okay by … Continue reading If you’re “all white” in America.
And if you loved Me, you would read My book. We wouldn't pass each other without a single look. And if I wrote a song for you it would have no hook. 'Cause I don't need a hook to fish for men. And if you follow Me, follow my commands Instead of building bigger castles … Continue reading What If?
It's a little bit funny this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide. I don't have much money, but boy, if I did I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor...but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show. … Continue reading It’s for people like you that keep it turned on
I've been a bad, bad girl. I've been careless with a delicate man. And it's a sad, sad world When a girl will break a boy just because she can. Don't you tell me to deny it. I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins. I've come to You, 'cause I need guidance … Continue reading It’s a sad, sad world when a girl can break a boy just because she can
An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay. It's a death row pardon two minutes too late. And isn't it ironic? Don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day! It's a free ride when you've already paid! It's the good … Continue reading Life has a funny way of helping you out
I repent. I repent of my pursuit of America's dream. I repent. I repent of living like I deserve anything: Of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife, In our suburb where we're safe and white. I am wrong and of these things I repent. I repent. I repent of parading my liberty. I … Continue reading I repent judging by a law that even I can’t keep
Hello, friends. I know I haven't been keeping up with my posts lately. I really do want to post on my blog every morning. Fortunately (and unfortunately), I have started my new job at Walmart, and I've been pretty busy! I'm happy to finally be making some money. I actually very much enjoy my job … Continue reading Reassurance
And if you want my glory, you gotta take my sin. And if you want my future, you gotta take my skin. And if you want my heart, you gotta take my blood. And if you want my bed, you gotta take my love. 'Cause, I'm not a half a man. No. I'm not a half … Continue reading I’m not a half a man.
Hello friends! There has been a slight change of plans regarding the PayPal Pool for my friend Rob and his family. It turns out that he will be moving to be with the rest of his family by this Saturday! I know that is a short deadline, and I understand that there is currently no … Continue reading Slight change of plans!
No blog post today, friends. I'm done speaking for a bit. I'll let Mandisa and Toby Mac do the talking for me. "We all bleed the same. So, tell me why we're divided?" Peace, Love, and Understanding, friends. ❤ P.S.: Please read my book. I think it will help you understand.
I watched the proverbial sunrise Coming up over the Pacific. And, you might think I'm losing my mind, But I will shy away from the specifics. 'Cause, I don't want you to know where I am. 'Cause, then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try … Continue reading You might think I’m losing my mind, but I will shy away from the specifics
First, I would like remind everyone of my friend Rob and his family. They have seriously been incredible to me, and I would love to return to favor by donating to them as much as I can. I'll be putting 10% of what I earn from my job(s) (as soon as I start them!) into … Continue reading Update and Prayer
I want to point something out very quickly that has bothered me for quite some time. "Marijuana" is not a "drug." It is a natural plant, and its proper name is "Cannabis." There are two forms of cannabinoid that come from the "marijuana" plant (that term was applied to the cannabis plant to stigmatize it … Continue reading Cannabis is not a “drug”
Stop Calling Me a "Christian" (and Stop $elling "Jesus") is now available on Amazon through Kindle Direct Publishing! Thank you for your patience, friends. I know this has been a long journey for you who have waited for this book. It has been an even longer one for me! Ten years in the making and … Continue reading It is finished!
You are beautiful as Tirzah, my love, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners. Turn away your eyes from me, for they overwhelm me- Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of ewes that have come up from the washing; … Continue reading Who is she?
An excellent wife who can find me is more precious than gold. Magnificent life left behind me; and more cautious than old. Not certain my lover will know me. How could she? Not my fault. Uncertainty (lovers have told me) is defined by "adult." An excellent wife who can find? Me. She's more precious than … Continue reading Who can find?
What do you want...to know? Do you know? Can you know? No. You can't. No. You can't know. Can't you know? No. What do you want? To "No"? Can you "No"? Yes. You can't "Yes," So you "No." Can't you "No"? Know. What do you want? To know? Can you know? No. You can't know; … Continue reading What do you want…
I heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord. But, You don't really care for music, do Ya? Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth, The minor fall and the major lift, The baffled king composing "Hallelujah." "Well your faith was strong but you needed proof. You … Continue reading But, I don’t even know Your name?
It is so easy to see dysfunction between you and me. We must free up these tired souls before the sadness kills us both. I've tried and tried to let you know I love you. But, I'm letting go. It may not last, but I don't know. I just don't know. If you don't know, … Continue reading The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
Watching terrible TV; it kills all thought. Getting spacier than an astronaut. Making out with people I hardly know or like. I can't believe what I do late at night. I wanna know what it's like on the inside of love. I'm standing at the gates. I see the beauty above. Only when we get … Continue reading I can’t find my way in…I try again and again
Slip inside the eye of your mind. Don't you know you might find A better place to play? You said that you'd never been, But all the things that you've seen Will slowly fade away. So I'll start a revolution from my bed, 'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head. Step … Continue reading I’ll start a revolution from my bed
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep. [You're] stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace. When you love someone, but it goes to waste, Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home, And ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you. And high up above or down below … Continue reading Light will guide you Home
Hello everyone! I have a prayer/donation request for all of my friends, family, and followers. A friend of mine is trying to move across the country, and he and his family are having difficulty getting some of the money together to make the transition. By "coincidence" (I don't really believe in those anymore), they need … Continue reading Prayer Request
Regrets collect like old friends; here to relive your darkest moments. I can see no way. I can see no way, and all of the ghouls come out to play. And, every demon wants his pound of flesh, but I like to keep some things to myself. I'd like to keep my issues drawn. It's … Continue reading Looking for heaven, found a devil in me
"A single thread in a tapestry, though its color brightly shine, can never see its purpose in the pattern of the Grand Design. "And the stone that sits on the very top of the mountains mighty face, Does it think its more important than the stones that form the base? "So how can you see … Continue reading “Look at your life through Heaven’s eyes.”
I feel like I'm having to come to a lot of "realizations" lately about the "real world" we all "live" in. I've come to realize that I see the world as it really is. I have no internal visualization to fuck with my visual memory and mess with what I remember as fact. I remember … Continue reading Autism isn’t a superpower.
What will people think when they hear that I'm a "Jesus" freak? What will people do when they find out it's true? Separated. I cut myself clean from a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams. Been apprehended by a spiritual force and a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced. I … Continue reading What would people think when they hear that I’m a “Jesus” freak?
I was watching a TED talk of one of my mentors, Temple Grandin, and she gave me the best idea ever. "Now, I wanna emphasize that not every autistic kid's gonna be a visual thinker...The thing is, the visual thinker is just one kind of mind. You see, the autistic mind tends to be a specialist … Continue reading A New Project: “Aphantastic Brain: Thinking in Music”
I feel like I would like to be somewhere else, doing something that matters. And, I'll admit here, while I sit here my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather. "Whats the purpose?" It feels worthless, so unwanted, like I've lost all my value. I can't find it, not in the least bit, … Continue reading Sometimes, I think that I’m not any good at all
Edit 5: My book is no longer available for free through my blog. If you would like to read my book (and much more content soon to come!) you can do so by "Joining the Love" through my Patreon! My full book is available to anyone who joins the $1 tier, and more of my … Continue reading A Work in Progress (Edit 5 – Kindle and Fourth Draft)
We'll do it all, Everything; On our own. We don't need Anything, Or anyone. If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world? I don't quite know How to say How I feel Those three words Are said too much They're not enough If I … Continue reading We’ll do it all, everything; on our own.